As a general rule, if two views present themselves as the only options in Christianity, take the third option. Calvinism vs. Arminianism is an excellent example. Do we have free will, or does God choose us? The answer is not as simple as either the Calvinists or the Arminians make it out to be.
As far as I am concerned, the issue of predestination and free will is on par with the Trinity with regard to complexity. That is, it is too profound for us to understand, at least on this side of the veil. As WWUTT pointed out in a video on the topic, 1 Corinthians 13:12 tells us that in this life, we see spiritual things "dimly", as if through a (first century) mirror, but when we get to the other side, we will see them much more clearly.
To many Calvinists, this issue is not so complex. God chooses us, we have no free will what so ever. One argument they make for this is the example of Paul. This article was originally inspired by a meme which, depicting Paul's Damascus Road experience, says "so there I was on my way to kill Christians when I used my free will to become one".
Anyone familiar with Paul's story knows that his conversion was a miraculous event. Paul didn't suddenly decide to become a Christian, he was directly collared by Jesus. So Calvinists argue that all conversion is like Paul's: We don't get a choice. But this is oversimplifying the issue.
As it happens, the account in Acts 9 isn't the only information we have about Paul's conversion. In 1 Timothy 1, we have Paul's own words about his past. Formerly a blasphemer, a persecutor, and an insolent man, Paul tells us that he did these things ignorantly and in unbelief. In other words, Paul is saying "if I'd have known..."
And this is the crux of the issue. Yes, God chooses us. One can hardly deny that from reading the Bible. But at the same time, the Bible clearly teaches that we have free will. We are held accountable for our actions, our words, and our beliefs. God isn't responsible for those. And so the question becomes, if God chooses us, how?
The answer to that appears to be, at least in part, through knowledge. Paul sinned in his ignorance, but Jesus actually appeared to him in a bright light. Jesus filled in the gaps in Paul's knowledge, and that is how He caused Paul to follow Him. Theoretically, Paul could have refused. He would not have been the first. In Luke 7:30, we see that God willed for the Pharisees to repent, but they rejected the will of God. How can this be if they didn't have free will? If God wills something, such as a sinner's repentance and baptism, yet those sinners do not repent and get baptised, this must mean that the sinners themselves chose whether or not to obey God, not that God Himself is choosing disobedience for them.
This is not the same as man being stronger than God. God is perfectly capable of forcing any end He desires. For whatever reason, He simply chose not to intervene in this case. That reason is His to know, and His to enact.
Another example on the flip side would be Chorazin and Bethsaida. These two cities received the knowledge of God, because Jesus did some wonderful works there. And so Jesus brought up Tyre and Sidon. In both Matthew 11:21 and Luke 10:13, Jesus says that if He had done the works in Tyre and Sidon that He had done in Chorazin and Bethsaida, Tyre and Sidon would have repented in sackcloth and ashes. And so clearly, Jesus willed for these cities to repent, even giving them the necessary knowledge to convince them to do so, and yet they did not, and so they will receive a greater punishment when they are judged.
What's more is that Jesus says Tyre and Sidon would have repented. He does not say "I would have caused them to repent", but that they would have repented. In other words, knowledge is all it would have taken to cause Tyre and Sidon to choose to repent. The reason Tyre and Sidon did not repent isn't that God didn't divinely force them, but that He simply left them in their ignorance.
Paul was different. He was ignorant, and so all God needed to do was give him the knowledge he required to repent. God is not so feeble as to be held back by the freedom He gives us. When it comes to God, it really is a case of heads He wins, tails we lose. Esther 4:14 shows us just how insignificant we are in His plans. He can give us everything we need, set us up in the perfect position, and yet if we refuse to use that, God still achieves His purposes.
This will never be a simple issue. However God chooses us, it is on us to respond to that choice. God owes us nothing, as is shown by Tyre and Sidon. He did not have to give us the knowledge of His grace. And as is shown by Chorazin and Bethsaida, He also doesn't owe it to us to force us to accept His will. He wants us to repent and be baptised, but He loses nothing if we don't. Let us therefore throw off our pride and follow His will.