A major obstacle between God and unbelievers is that God's rules feel a lot more restrictive than they actually are. That's what separated man from God in the beginning, and that's what continues to separate man from God to this very day. We don't like God's rules, we don't want God's rules. We want to live our life our way, and if God doesn't like it, we want Him out of the way. Of course, we still want the benefits He brings.
As I increase in age, I forget my testimony. Ask me how I became a Christian, I will only be able to give you a basic answer. But what I can tell you is that when I became a Christian, I was also in the middle of coming out as homosexual. For as long as I can remember, I have always felt more female than male. As my classmates from primary school would always remind me, I actually claimed to be a girl from as young as 5. I used to pretend to have a husband, and though I'd never admit it, as I aged, I even considered seeking transgender surgery as an adult. (Thank God I was not raised in today's culture...). As a teenager, the desire to be female translated into homosexuality. The idea of natural sex was almost offensive to me, and I just wanted a boyfriend.
Like many converts, I hadn't read the Bible at that point. I didn't know that Christianity had such strict rules about sex. So, when my friends started telling me what they knew about Christian morality, I didn't believe them. I didn't believe God opposed homosexuality. But then they showed me proof. They showed me that indeed, the Bible does say homosexuality is wrong. An abomination, even.
Still my heart resisted. Not only was this a part of my identity, but it was beginning to become "real" to me. I was finally confessing out loud that I was gay. Not only that, but my friends weren't as hostile to the idea as I thought they would be. Some of them even said they knew it all along. "Would we still be friends if I was gay?" I asked one friend. "I always knew you liked men", he replied, not knowing that he was, in fact, the man I liked. And so I was being forced to choose between my newfound faith, and my developing sexuality.
Or was I? After all, doesn't God forgive? The whole point of the cross is so that sin is not imputed to the sinner. So maybe God will just love me anyway. Well my friends, He did. But not in the way I expected. Like many in our culture, I was under the impression that love and acceptance were the same thing. But I soon learned that this is not the case. As my resistance against God increased, so also did God's love for me manifest itself, not by leaving me in my sin, but by constantly convicting me about it. As I continued to say "if God loves me, He'll let me be gay", I began to understand that if I loved God, I couldn't be, and that it's because God loves me that He couldn't just leave me to sin.
This is the part where I censor my own story, because there are some things I would just rather not confess, even under a pseudonym. But suffice to say, over time, I became more and more aware of exactly why God doesn't agree with homosexuality. It's not just rebellion against Him, but there are some very nasty health issues that result from homosexuality. And so I finally began to surrender. I couldn't beat God, so I might as well join Him. But I had a problem. It was hard to leave homosexuality.
See, just like all LGBT people, homosexuality was a part of my identity. It wasn't something I wanted to give up. It wasn't even something I thought I could give up. Indeed, it is only by the power of God that I can give it up. Other Christians, far braver than me, do not even have that luxury. No Christian is perfect. Not in this life. And so while there are some who are blessed to leave homosexuality completely and have a fruitful marriage, others struggle with homosexuality for the rest of their earthly lives. Nevertheless, I sought to be the former kind. I didn't want to dishonour God in body or in mind, and so I fought, and I prayed. And I got baptised, praying "Lord, can I stop now?" As if I needed permission to stop sinning. Of course, what I really needed was His power.
Perhaps that story resonates with you. Are you where I was? Maybe not with homosexuality, but we're all sinners. Even a Christian doesn't convert and instantly become Jesus. So, is this where you are? Maybe you're not LGBT, but perhaps you are a fornicator? Or perhaps excessive alcohol is more your thing. Maybe you're addicted to something other than sex, like heroin or other drugs. Perhaps you're greedy, loving to make money, but giving generously is as offensive to you as natural sex was to me. Or maybe you're scared. Coming out as a Christian among unbelievers is often as hard as coming out as gay among believers. I still have that struggle whenever I enter a new arena, so to speak. If any of this is an obstacle to you, I have one message: Don't let it be. God's rules seem restrictive at first, but as time goes on, you will almost feel like they were your idea. Don't wait, don't try to clean yourself, don't let peer pressure dissuade you, and don't let your idols cling to your ankles begging you not to go. Just get saved. It will be the best decision of your life, as with it, you will gain eternal life.