If you want an intelligent discussion about politics, religion, or indeed anything worth talking about, TikTok is the absolute worst place to go. Not that there are no pockets of wisdom, of course, but the vast majority of the platform is for repetitive dances, silly puns, and people who couldn't argue their way out of a speeding ticket, much less defend their actual worldview.
An example of the latter category is a girl who posted an argument with herself, flipping the camera to "change character". Her two characters were her condescending atheist self, and her naive Christian alter ego. The discussion went as follows:
A: So in abusive relationships, the abuser will break down the victim's self worth and self esteem, and make them feel broken and worthless without them, so they'll be dependent on the abuser.
C: Yeah, that's really horrible that people do that.
A: Right, so then when a church teaches you that you're born broken and a sinner, and worthy of eternal punishment, it's...
C: True! We're all sinners unworthy of what Jesus did for us.
A: I'm gonna start from the beginning, you let me know where I lost you.
Now, in the spirit of grace, I'm going to assume that this is one of those arguments the atheist had in her head that has not actually happened in real life, and it's simply how she imagines it would go down if it did. In reality, using such an argument against a knowledgeable Christian would not happen that way.
Now, some apologists far greater than me, such as Tim Barnett of Red Pen Logic, have already addressed this particular TikTok, but I'm actually going to take a slightly different route. Whereas Tim takes the angle of pointing out that, first of all, in Christianity, all people have inherent self worth, even if they are sinners, I'm going to address the element of "worthless without the abuser".
Now of course, I absolutely do not grant that God is an abuser. I find the very accusation asinine, but much like Tim, I do grant that abusers will attempt to make their victims feel worthless without them. Thus, I feel like in this case, the atheist could argue that even if we do all have inherent worth, we still get it from God. Thus, the argument still stands. God makes us feel worthless without Him.
Now, it's true: In Christianity, we are, in fact, worthless without God, because He gave us our worth. It seems like a silly response, of course. Using the same logic, I can say I wouldn't have my blue eyes without God. It's true, but the point is, I still have my blue eyes. Yes, our worth comes from God, but we still have inherent value.
This is actually a major distinction between God and any abuser: The legitimacy of the claim. A victim's value does not come from their abuser. It comes from God. Now, consider the relationship between parents and their children. Parents can abuse their children by making them feel worthless without them. Indeed, I've seen this many times.
But now consider the Pharisees, some of the most notorious bad guys in the New Testament. Hypocrites. Brood of vipers. White washed tombs. These are just a few pleasant words Jesus exchanged with this particular group of religious leaders. Pay attention to one of His criticisms of them:
"Then the scribes and Pharisees who were from Jerusalem came to Jesus, saying, “Why do Your disciples transgress the tradition of the elders? For they do not wash their hands when they eat bread.” He answered and said to them, “Why do you also transgress the commandment of God because of your tradition? For God commanded, saying, ‘Honor your father and your mother’; and, ‘He who curses father or mother, let him be put to death.’ But you say, ‘Whoever says to his father or mother, “Whatever profit you might have received from me is a gift to God”— then he need not honor his father or mother.’ Thus you have made the commandment of God of no effect by your tradition. Hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy about you, saying: ‘These people draw near to Me with their mouth, And honor Me with their lips, But their heart is far from Me. And in vain they worship Me, Teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.’ ”" (Matthew 15:1-9).
One of the "weightier matters" (Matthew 23:23) of the Law is our relationship with our parents. Indeed, honor your parents is "the first commandment with promise" (Ephesians 6:2), its that important. Now, there are two attitudes a parent might have towards their children: "I gave you life, I can take it away again", or "I cared for you in your youth, please care for me in my old age".
The former is abusive. It is a horrendous sin, and genuinely does tie the value of the victim to the consent of the abuser. Again, in reality, the value of a man comes from God, not from any other human being, and it is intrinsic, not subject to someone's approval.
The latter is true, Holy, and frankly unassailable. It doesn't tie one's value to one's parents, but recognises both the intrinsic value of the parents, and the natural order by which God preserves it. Parent/child is a symbiotic relationship. A baby is dependent on a caregiver (naturally, their parents) to survive, and even a young child is unlikely to survive without some form of caregiver. An older parent, likewise, will struggle to support themselves, with the most natural caregiver being their offspring.
Who can argue against that? Who can say it is abusive to expect a person to honor their parents? Well, put simply, an atheist.
The ironic thing about atheism is that as often as atheists try to claim the moral high ground, atheistic worldviews typically lack foundation for any kind of morality or value outside of one's own mind. This is especially true of Evolution, the dominant atheistic religion. Yet, it fails to explain how human beings are any more valuable than the magical microbes we supposedly evolved from, or when we became bound to any moral laws.
Now we see the ultimate irony. If Christianity is true, human value is inalienable. From the moment you are conceived, you are absolutely valuable, because your value comes from God. But if there is no God, He is not there to give us intrinsic value. Atheism, therefore, forces you to find your worth elsewhere, usually from its own "god".
Of course, there are two ways this can go. The first is collectivism wherein your value is determined only by your usefulness to society as a whole. "One ant doesn't matter". This, of course, leads to Fascism, Communism, and other genuinely abusive extremes. The second is individualism, wherein not even the collective matter as much as "me, me, me". This leads to anarchism, where each does what is right in his own eyes, even abusing others, and the one who is right is the one with the biggest gun.
All of this stems from one common problem: Sin. The very problem this atheist is saying it is abusive to so much as mention! When the Church teaches, as revelation directly from God Himself, that we are all sinners, that is not abusive, it really is true. Now, to clarify, it is factually inaccurate that we are born worthy of eternal punishment. A baby will not be condemned if, God forbid, they die before they are even old enough to comprehend morality. There is a concept of an "age of accountability", wherein a person is considered capable of taking responsibility for their own actions, and is therefore punished for actions deserving punishment. Even then, the punishment is reduced (or increased) depending on one's level of knowledge. If two people commit the exact same sin, but one is fully aware that it is a sin and the other has no idea, the one who does not know is not punished as severely.
These two facts must be acknowledged in order to address this question fairly. Yet, this particular atheist acts as if the Bible is quite clear that if a child is killed before it sees its first sunset, it will be immediately thrown into the same fire as Adolf Hitler. In reality, sin is an issue we all have, but it is an issue we all have. And it is not abusive to confront someone with an issue we have. Case in point: abuse! If someone is abusing you, you have the absolute right to confront them about it.
It is true, abusers do attempt to alter their victim's mental state in order to maintain control over them. But it is equally abusive to deny and/or defend one's own flaws. If you're in a relationship, and your significant other comes to you with a problem they have with you, it might actually be a legitimate problem. If it is, denial and defense is not the correct response: Working on the problem is.
Sin is a genuine problem. Therefore, it is not abusive for God to point it out. In fact, because of the nature of sin, it is entirely right for God to execute justice. We tend to recognise this concept when we are the victim of sin. Even moral relativists suddenly recognise the need for justice when they are the victim of injustice. The trouble is, God is not our equal. It isn't like husband and wife, parent and child, or even employer and employee. It's Creator and creation. God is higher above us than we are above grasshoppers. That makes His love for us so much more amazing. He owes us nothing but judgement.
However, because God is very much not an abuser, He does the exact opposite of abuse. Abusers, being by their nature selfish, do not selflessly sacrifice themselves for their victims. In fact, they are more likely to sacrifice their victims for their own sake. But God sent His Son to die for our sins, though He Himself never sinned.
Now of course, this is where the same atheists who make this sort of argument will claim that this is still child abuse, but this is because they do not understand the complexities of the faith. To begin with, this was voluntary; God did not force Jesus to do anything. The whole Godhead was of one mind on this issue. But of course, you also have to consider that God is tripersonal. He is one being who exists as three separate persons. Jesus is God. Thus, God is quite literally of one mind on this. Now, I'm not going to turn this article into a defense of the Trinity, but because of both the voluntary nature of Christ's sacrifice, and the doctrine of the Trinity, the whole "child abuse" argument immediately falls flat.
And because of the voluntary self sacrifice element, so also does the idea that God is abusing us. The correct answer to sin is not to accuse God of abuse for calling us out for it, but to embrace His grace. In His love for us, God received the full punishment for sin for us, allowing us to enter His Kingdom completely blameless. What does that mean while we're still in the flesh? Well, just as in any relationship, it means we should recognise and work on our flaws. If we don't, we're actually the abusers, and the just consequences we receive for it are our own stupid fault.