As we're still human, Christians fight just as much as unbelievers. We have disagreements in several areas, personal and intellectual. But we have something unbelievers don't. We have a little guide book, and direct access to its Author. It's rather surprising, therefore, that so few Christians actually use this. A significant number of Christians approach conflict in the way the world approaches conflict. Jesus is very rarely allowed an opinion.
For example, should Christians block each other on social media? Let's take a look at Matthew 5:23-24. “Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” Reconciliation, therefore, is far more important to Jesus than to anything you can offer to God.
There are two ways you can look at this verse. If you are the one blocking a brother, either he has the responsibility to come and be reconciled to you, and by blocking him you are preventing him from doing so, or you have the responsibility to be reconciled to him, and thus you are directly disobeying Jesus by cutting off contact. Whichever way you look at it, blocking fellow Christians actively prevents a command of God from being fulfilled.
Another example from Luke 17:4. “And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, ‘I repent,’ you shall forgive him.” The world tends to think there's a limit on forgiveness. "You've done this too many times, you're finished." I know I'm guilty of falling short of this one. When I initially wrote this article, one girl in particular came to mind. It doesn't appear she's a Christian, so there is some leeway in this situation, but whatever the case, Jesus' word must still take precedent over my heart. There is no limit on when God forgives us, and therefore there should be no limit to us forgiving each other.
The two most important verses in my mind are Colossians 3:13 and John 13:35. Colossians 3:13 says “bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.” Forgiveness is essential because it imitates Christ. Jesus actually uses an entire parable to stress the importance of forgiving others as He forgives us (Matthew 18:21-35). Yet we often try to justify it with things like "but what they did is too big!" In my case, the excuse I use is usually that God is far more powerful than me. His ability to forgive is beyond my ability to forgive, and unlike Him, I don't have the ability to predict or prevent a conflict before it happens. And yet, when it comes to forgiveness, there are no asterisks, no foot notes, no exceptions. Forgiveness is essential.
John 13:35 says “By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” The reason I feel this is most important is the reason behind the command. If you fail on a personal level, that's just you, but when unbelievers see you, they're using what they see to judge Jesus.
When unbelievers see Christians stand before the people that killed their families and say "I forgive you", they are astounded, and want to know more about what it is that gives them such power. But when they see Christians battling fiercely over petty things, they ask "what's so different about them?" As Christians, we not only have to use the spirit to our own advantage, but also we must show the spirit to those who don't have it yet. Are we doing that when our friendships are blown apart by trivial things, or would it be better if nothing could stop Christians praying for each other, feeding each other, clothing each other, building each other up? When we fight, there is only one winner: Satan. When we reconcile, God gets the glory.
The above article was transferred from Path Treader Ministries, and has been minimally edited from the original, but during the transfer, the thought occurred to me that it does not adequately address extreme situations, such as when there is a genuine and present threat of abuse. In these cases, the spirit remains the same; Christians are to forgive. This, however, does not require the suspension of justice, nor the setting aside of self preservation.
First, there is a protocol for distinguishing between Christians and unbelievers. In Matthew 18:15-18, Jesus gives a 3 part strategy for dealing with sinning brethren. They are to receive a personal rebuke first, then a rebuke from two or three witnesses, and finally from the Church. If all three rebukes are rejected, they are to be considered an unbeliever. This does not mean that they are not to be forgiven, but that it becomes permissible to exclude them from the Church, and if there are any legal issues, secular means are more permissible.
Furthermore, forgiveness in and of itself does not mean foregoing justice completely. Forgiveness is about the will to reconcile with the penitent, rather than the suspension of all consequence in order to tolerate ongoing sin. As Proverbs 19:19 says, "A man of great wrath will suffer punishment; For if you rescue him, you will have to do it again." Thus, if necessary, an abuser can, and actually should, be delivered over to the criminal justice system.