Unless otherwise stated, all Qur'an citations in this article are taken from the Sahih International translation.
An interesting in house discussion in the Christian faith is the concept of a "righteous lie". Is it ever ok to lie in Christianity? Are there some situations in which lying is not a sin, or if it is sin, is it permissible to sin in this one instance? The most commonly cited examples of this are the Egyptian midwives, who lied to Pharaoh in order to not have to kill the Hebrew babies, and Rahab, who lied to protect the spies, both of whom were rewarded, rather than punished.
In Islam, a similar question is asked. Is lying ok in Islam? The more extreme anti-Islamic apologists would say "yes, of course, it's called Taqiyya, the practice of lying to further the goals of Islam". Taqiyya genuinely is a concept of permissible lying in Islam. But most people, both within and without the Muslim faith, do not understand Taqiyya. At the very outset, I wish to both clarify and emphasise this one fact: If your Muslim friends tell you anything about their religion, the chances are very low that they are lying to you. Not that whatever they're telling you is necessarily correct, but they probably believe it is. But let's suppose they didn't. Would they be wrong, according to their religion, to lie about Islam to you?
According to the Muslim sources, up to and including the Qur'an, there genuinely is a practice called "Taqiyya", which does permit Muslims to, in some circumstances, even deny their faith. Most notably, Qur'an 16:106 says "Whoever disbelieves in Allah after his belief... except for one who is forced [to renounce his religion] while his heart is secure in faith. But those who [willingly] open their breasts to disbelief, upon them is wrath from Allah , and for them is a great punishment;"
In context, this verse does not set out a circumstance in which it is ok to lie. Rather, it speaks about how disbelieving in Allah after believing in Allah will incur his wrath. But while the purpose of this verse isn't to present taqiyya, it does present an exception. If you are forced to renounce your Islamic faith by word, but in your heart you remain a Muslim, this does not apply to you. According to Tafsir Ibn Abas, this verse was revealed about Muhammad's companion, Ammar Ibn Yasir, who was indeed tortured and forced to curse Muhammad and reject Islam, yet because his heart did not match his statements, he received forgiveness.
It is beyond obvious, therefore, that there is such a thing as "righteous lying" in Islam. Allah does not judge a Muslim by what they say under force, but what they believe in their heart. But can Taqiyya extend further?
Qur'an 3:28 tells us "Let not believers take disbelievers as allies rather than believers. And whoever [of you] does that has nothing with Allah , except when taking precaution against them in prudence. And Allah warns you of Himself, and to Allah is the [final] destination." This verse is often cited as a justification for Taqiyya. Just as 16:106, this verse is actually trying to make the opposite point to our discussion. It is laying down the rule, namely "do not take disbelievers as allies rather than believers" (other translations say "friends"), with the exception (except as a precaution against them) being noted within. But this exception does teach us the concept of Taqiyya.
According to Tafsir Ibn Kathir, this verse does indeed allow deceiving unbelievers: "In this case, such believers are allowed to show friendship to the disbelievers outwardly, but never inwardly. For instance, Al-Bukhari recorded that Abu Ad-Darda' said, "We smile in the face of some people although our hearts curse them.'' Al-Bukhari said that Al-Hasan said, "The Tuqyah is allowed until the Day of Resurrection.''"
So we see that when Muslims fear they may be persecuted, they are allowed to show friendship to disbelievers. But this friendship is supposed to be external, not internal. This, again, does not necessarily mean your Muslim friend is not really your Muslim friend. The vast majority of Muslims in the West have no clue about any of this. More devout Muslims, such as one who responded to David Wood on the subject of Taqiyya, would further argue that there is no justification, particularly in the U.S., for the practice of Taqiyya, since technically, unless you incite terrorism, merely saying Islam prescribes violence against unbelievers is protected by the First Amendment.
Nevertheless, as Wood himself pointed out, even if it's legally protected speech, running around telling people "my religion says I have to fight you until you convert, pay the jizyah, or die" is probably not going to make you many friends. Thus, Muslims actually could feel threatened by preaching pure Islam in non-Muslim nations. Therefore, it does make sense to deny Islamic violence as a form of Taqiyya.
Ultimately, the practice of Taqiyya is wide open to interpretation in the Qur'an. There are other verses I could bring up, as well as a number of Hadith in which Muhammad and his companions constantly lied in order to gain the upper hand. As Muhammad is reported to have said in Sahih Bukhari Volume 4, Book 52, Number 269, "War is deceit". And all too often, Muhammad could be found using deceit to win wars.
But are your Muslim friends in this position? Certainly not. The majority of Western Muslims actually believe Islam is a religion of peace, and that war should be defensive only. The same can actually be said for followers of just about any religion. People, being people, do not always study or practice the religion they claim. You can have "Christians" who cannot tell you the basics of Christianity, you can have Catholics who will deny the very teachings of their Church, you can trip up Mormon missionaries just by quoting the very book they're holding. Why should we expect anything less in the Western world? It's one of the drawbacks of freedom of religion; there is no compulsion to know. You can say "I'm a Muslim" without even owning a Qur'an.
Because of the sheer lack of private study in the Islamic community, coupled with the ambiguity of Taqiyya in general, it can be reasonably assumed the majority of Muslims either do not know what Taqiyya is, or do not think it is for them to practice. Thus, if you meet a Muslim who tells you Islam is a religion of peace, that the Bible is corrupted, that Aisha was 18 when Muhammad married her, or any other falsehood, you do not need to jump straight to Taqiyya. As the saying goes, never attribute to malice what you can attribute to ignorance. In the same way, never attribute to Taqiyya what you can attribute to being raised in Western culture.