Song - The Water Test
- Bible Brian
- 29 minutes ago
- 6 min read
Lyrics
[Verse 1]
There once was a man on a quest,
for the Lord had bestowed him a test.
Jesus said, “From the well,
bring me water, don’t dwell.
Hear my words, and you shall be blessed.1
[Verse 2]
But on the road stood a figure in white,
with a mitre, and a grin shining bright.
He said "son pray tell,
why are you at this well?"
he said "to fetch some water for Christ."
[Verse 3]
But the Pope, with a scholarly grin,
said "here's what He meant deep within.
When He asked you for water,
He was speaking much broader,
it is wine He wants you to fetch Him!"
[Bridge]
Dah dah dah / dah doo doo doo / doo / dah doo dah dah
dah / doo doo doo doo / doo
doo dah doo doo / dah dah dah / doo dah doo / dah doo doo
[Verse 4]
If the man, for the water, does aim,
He obeys what the Lord did proclaim.
If he swaps it for wine,
he’s consistent, but blind,
for he’s faithful to the Papal name2.
[Verse 5]
If meaning must pass through a throne,
then the words are no longer His own.
To obey through another,
is to quietly smother3,
what God has made clearly known.
[Verse 6]
If God cannot talk to His sheep4,
without guards on the words that He speaks,
then the problem, my friend,
is easy to comprehend:
The Pope isn't a shepherd, but a thief5!
[Verse 7]
So do you trust what the Master has said,
or the Pope's twisted meaning instead?
The words aren't unclear,
just obey what you hear,
for the Church must obey its one Head6!
Background
The Water Test uses 7 consecutive limericks to describe an analogy I came up with fairly recently to illustrate the folly of "authoritative interpreters". In the original analogy, as of course in the song, Jesus appears to a man and tells him "go to the well and fetch me a bucket of water". On the way, he is confronted by the Pope, who tells the man Jesus actually intended for him to go to the store and fetch Him a bottle of wine. The dilemma? If he fetches the water, he obeys God, but disobeys the Pope. If he fetches the wine, he obeys the Pope, but disobeys God.
The first verse begins by introducing the man to whom Jesus has appeared, and briefly explaining where he's going. Of course, this story isn't from the Bible, but you may notice I've linked it to something that is. In the song, Jesus says "Hear my words, and you shall be blessed." This, I have linked to Luke 11:27-28. This verse reads "And it happened, as He spoke these things, that a certain woman from the crowd raised her voice and said to Him, “Blessed is the womb that bore You, and the breasts which nursed You!” But He said, “More than that, blessed are those who hear the word of God and keep it!”"
This is an especially powerful verse for this song, as it not only illustrates the importance of hearing and (more importantly) keeping the word of God, but does so with particular relevance to the Catholic Church. See, Catholics have a very unhealthy view of Mary. Not that she isn't blessed, of course. Even as a man, I confess a degree of envy that she had the privilege of carrying God in her womb for 9 months. No woman in history, before or since, has received such an incredible blessing, and so naturally, as she predicted, all generations have called her blessed. But notice, upon the very next generation doing so, Jesus stops just shy of rebuke. He redirects the blessing, saying that while Mary is indeed blessed, there is a greater blessing in store for those who "fetch the water". If you hear and keep the word of God, which 2 Timothy 3:16-17 plainly tells us is Scripture, you are blessed.
In verse 2, we are introduced to the antagonist of our parable. A mitre-wearing figure in white shows up and questions the man. In verse 3, this is revealed to be specifically the Pope, who proceeds to allegorise Jesus' very explicit command. Of course, the irony is a Catholic is more likely to do the opposite; that which is explicitly allegorical, they say is literal. But they do both, and the specifics aren't technically the point of the analogy. The point is, the protagonist understands Jesus, and initially seeks to obey, but he is told very explicitly that He means something else.
From this point on, the analogy ends, and so the story does also. To separate the story from its interpretation, I added a bridge. Similar to my previous song "Christ is morse", this was originally supposed to be morse code, using "dah" for dashes, and "doo" for dots. Thus, the bridge, which in proper morse is "--- -... . -.--/ - .... ./ .-.. --- .-. -..", translates to "OBEY THE LORD". As much as I love this idea, Mozart AI still isn't very good at following morse instructions, so it failed to produce the correct morse. As I really loved the result apart from this, and "doos" and "dahs" are meaningless unless meaning is ascribed to them, I ultimately decided it wasn't worth trashing the whole song for this. I know what the bridge means, and so does anyone reading this article, so in the end, it hits the same, it just won't be picked up by any future codebreakers.
In verse 4, I begin explaining the dilemma. If the man fetches Jesus the water, he has plainly obeyed what He said with His own mouth, directly disobeying the Pope. But this is what a Catholic would call "private interpretation". Obeying Jesus instead of the Pope is a very "Protestant" thing to do. By contrast, obeying the Pope in spite of what Jesus actually said is the Catholic answer. Yet, both Scripture, and plain reason, show the utter insanity of this, because it puts the Pope above Christ Himself.
Ironically, in the early Church, there were divisions that basically elevated different Apostles. Paul says "For it has been reported to me by Chloe's people that there is quarreling among you, my brothers. What I mean is that each one of you says, “I follow Paul,” or “I follow Apollos,” or “I follow Cephas,” or “I follow Christ.” Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul?" (1 Corinthians 1:11-13). The expected answer is no. Not even Cephas (i.e. Peter, the alleged first Pope) could be legitimately appealed to above the name of Christ, whose name alone saves us (Acts 4:12). Thus, it is pure follow to hold any authority above His own.
Which is what I allude to in verse 5, where I carefully hint at the problem with trusting man made tradition. This is partially a nod towards the Pharisees. Jesus actually validates their authority in Matthew 23:1-7, telling us they sit in Moses' seat, yet by their hypocrisy, they condemn themselves and their followers. Elsewhere, we are told that they set aside the command of God for the traditions of man. This is not a problem unique to them. As Paul warns us in Colossians 2:8, we need to watch out so that "...no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ." This, of course, can come from leaders of the Church (Acts 20:28-30).
Verse 6 is the most heavily saturated in Scripture, alluding to John 10. In verse 27, Jesus tells us "My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me." As Christians, we belong to the Good Shepherd, who lays down His life for us (v11). When He speaks, we follow. Where does He speak? Contrary to the assertions of the Catholic Church, He did, in fact, give us the Bible. We hear His voice in His book, and we follow Him by doing what He tells us in it.
But Jesus actually identifies others who may enter the sheep pen in His analogy. Specifically, in verse 1, He says "“Truly, truly, I say to you, he who does not enter the sheepfold by the door but climbs in by another way, that man is a thief and a robber." If this is the case, what would we say about someone who, one way or another, blocks the sheep from their Shepherd, or the Shepherd from His sheep? This isn't merely climbing into the sheepfold without using the door, it's actually seizing the sheep! Thus, by forbidding Jesus' sheep from obeying His plain teachings (i.e. hearing our Master's voice and following Him), insisting that the Church, not the Scriptures, dictate sound doctrine, the Pope has exposed himself as a false teacher even before we know anything else he believes.
The final verse re-states the dilemma: Do you trust Jesus' words, or the Pope's? The words of Scripture aren't so ambiguous as to require knowledge of tradition, and even the early Church marked those who asserted otherwise as heretics. The final line takes a jab at the Pope's claim to be the "visible head of the Church", given that "head of the Church" is a title that is uniquely ascribed to Christ.
Scripture references
Luke 11:27-28
Acts 4:12
Colossians 2:8
John 10:27
John 10:1
Colossians 1:18
AI usage
This song was produced using Mozart AI.
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